Apologizing could be somewhat catchy for me. While I pride of myself on being somebody who is capable of looking within, assume responsibility, and conclude battles directly.
I also realize that my
have haughtiness and insecurity cause me to stubbornly decline to apologize some of the
times or, much more detrimental, which can let in apologizing for who I am.
Being capable to take duty for our effect on
other people, admit and own our blunders and defects, and restore trust and
connection with the people close to us are all important aspects of living an
accomplished life and creating healthy relationships.
Indeed, many of us devalue, disdain, and do
harm to ourselves and those around us, by apologizing for who we are in a
shame-based way – which by and large comes by a place of shame.
It is like a feeling
as if we're not good enough or there's something inherently wrong with us.
Apologizing genuinely is about accepting
responsibility for our actions or our answers, as a grown-up.
This is addressed
guilt - wishing we had not done or said something, and taking actions to
address and amend the situation inside ourselves, with other people, or both.
Apologizing for who we are, is particularly about
us thinking or saying some adaptation of, "I'm awful, it's my fault, or do
not hate me," like we are a baby looking for establishment or approval.
This is a specific example of how shame comes on
in our lives. And, regardless how much we might "apologize," when it originates
from this shame-based place, we are never capable of shaking the feeling of
something being wrong with who we are.
The more we recognize that we are apologizing
for who we are, the more chance we have to look perplex - acknowledge,
experience, and carry our shame, and in the process begin to heal ourselves in
a genuine way.
While we all have "issues," "imperfections,"
and "challenges" in life - at the most ambiguous level, there's
nothing inherently wrong with any of us.
Most of us, myself included, spend and waste way
too much time resolving, criticizing, and being mean to ourselves.
Treating ourselves in that way never works.
It does not help us convert to better individuals.
It does not give us attainment to more passion, power, or talent.
It does not make us less committed to those
around us who we would like to support.
It simply keeps us stuck in a negative story
about who we believe we are and what we believe needs to be "fixed"
about us so we can then live the life we truly would like to live.
Imagine a scenario where we blocked off doing
this to ourselves, quit apologizing for who we are, and start respecting,
appreciating, and loving ourselves in an untiring way.
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